Drug Dealer Starter Kit Present

At one point in your life, you may find yourself asking the following questions: “Did I make the right choice?” “Was being an accountant really my calling?” “Does being a business manager make me happy?” “If I had taken the less traveled road, would I be happier?” “Is it too late to go back?” All questions which might lead you to the final question, “How can I become a drug dealer?” 

If you are asking yourself these questions or being bogged down by mundane life, don’t worry. Once, I too struggled with these same kind of feelings. When I finally stopped fighting and joined the thug life, only then did I feel truly free. As you’ll soon come to realize, being a criminal gives you a way to change the world. You can make a difference, whether it be destroying families, enslaving victims to addiction, or robbing a bank. So to help you in the path of finding your inner drug lord, I have created a drug dealer starter kit. You can use this for yourself, or give it as a gift as I did. I gave it as a Christmas gift to my brother, who was in need of some illegal hobbies.

Drug Dealer Starter Kit
To make this kit, I started by getting a briefcase. You can buy a simple one at a thrift store for a couple of dollars.  Once you’ve got your briefcase, fill it with dollar bills, tied with a rubber band. Now if you are giving this as a gift and have the budget for it, it would be really cool to use real dollar bills. I, however, am cheap and printed off fake money. I printed mine off only one sided, because though I was giving a “drug dealer” kit, I didn’t want to commit a real felony.   http://www.had2know.com/education/free-printable-us-play-money.html

For the pills in the bag, I used the “Good and Plenty” licorice candies. For the cocaine, I used a simple bag of flour. Then I put in a pair of blue gloves stolen from my doctor’s office and an air soft gun. This is not shown in the picture, but I also made blue rock candy (crystal candy, crystal meth, ehehe) and put that in a small container.

My brother thought this was so hilarious and fun. He burst out laughing when he opened it and joked that now he could quit his job and follow his dream of being a criminal boss. If you make you’re own “drug dealer starter” kit, take a picture and let me know how it goes in the comments!

Drug dealer starter kit

1 Response

  1. Christina Colon December 23, 2017 / 1:50 am

    I love this and got the irony of it. In times of utter despair and desperation due to money of course I sat and thought this exact same thing “How does one become a drug dealer?”
    I’m careful, smart and savvy enough to avoid getting caught. I’m the last person anyone would suspect of being a “dealer” white, 40’s, well read and spoken, stylish and upstanding in my neighborhood and a Grandma too.
    I knew some unsavory characters, heck I even knew the lingo. My Dad always said “it pays to know people in low and high places” well I knew some in each.
    But still the nagging question how to get started? One can not just approach suspected or known dealers and ask for an application so for now I am still clueless and I’ve yet to find a random bag of drugs that has thousands in “street value” so I’m still broke too.

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